10pm update.

Oakes is tucked in bed and ready for a super boring night.

Dr E shared that he tolerated tonight's ballooning "100 times better than Monday". Good news. Moving forward we will either balloon weekly and see what results we get or start pushing for the biodegradable stents, there will be a conference tomorrow to discuss.

Dr. E was not able to place a new broviac or med line as they had planned. Unfortunately, Oakes has clotting and scar tissue in his veins and arteries from everything that he has already undergone so after nearly 3 hours of trying to place a line his frustrated team stopped. Instead, Oakes will go to the Cath lab with Dr E and Dr. Balzer possibly on Friday to place a line. Not ideal, but nothing to crazy either.

Going to bed thankful for good news this far, then up to the hospital in the morning for the MRI.

XO.

Update

Hi friends.

I wish I could brag that I have amazing news again, but I do not. Uuug. We have had a rough week or so with Oakes.

He is in the OR right now, so I am going to make this short and sweet so that I can be hands free when he gets back.

So in my last update I shared that Oakes was going through withdrawal. He has had classic signs - elevated heart rate, feverish, sweaty, loose stools, and just rageful fits occasionally. Oakes has had withdrawal issues before and it is just so upsetting to watch, but Greg and I knew that he would get through the worst of it and we would move on. However, even though his CICU docs have been increasing his meds and treating his fits, he has continued to have them, which has left them scratching their heads, and they have been asking, "What else can be causing these fits."

On Monday, Oakes went to the OR for a rigid bronch procedure - they wanted to look at his airways. It had been about 5 good weeks since the last one, and they wanted to see if there were any issues there that could explain his behavior. This turned out to be a great move - his left bronchi was almost completely closet and his right was barely open. At the time the decided to dilate the left side, but once the balloon was inflated his stats plummeted so they wrapped things up and brought him to his room. He has been paralyzed and sedated ever since. There is a chance that the obstructed airway could cause the fits that Oakes was having, but the doctors are not convinced.

There is speculation that Oakes withdrawal symptoms were mistaken for "Neuro storming". This happens sometimes when a person has been on sedation meds for an extended period of time. When their meds are slowly taken away the brain kind of freaks out and causes theses fits. Of course it is not that simple. That is my non-medical explanation. The big piece of storming that is most upsetting is that his would indicate a brain injury for Oakes. Obviously, devastating news that we do not want.

Neurology actually came to see Oakes on Monday before he was put to sleep for the OR and they were shaking their heads saying, "Nope, this kid is not storming." They shared that he was alert, interactive, responsive, his eyes looked good, his movements were controlled and coordinated, they thought this was 100% withdrawal. And standing in front of them was our Attending, Dr. Oren shaking his head saying, "This is not withdrawal." Obviously, we are not 100% sure what is going on, but Oakes is scheduled for an MRI tomorrow morning at 8:30am, and this should give us a lot more info about his brain.

This could be crazy ramblings of a mother in denial, but a brain injury makes NO sense to me. NONE. I was a weepy mess on Monday night, I just can't begin to wrap my brain around that pending diagnosis, so I decided I wouldn't. I will wait till they give me final details till I melt into a pool of goo. For now I am praying that this is not an issue that we will have to deal with.

So, Oakes is in the OR now. Like I mentioned both Bronchi looked crummy and his left side was ballooned on Monday. Right now they are going to peek at the left side and see if it looks any better, as well as balloon his right side. Much more minor, his broviac line, a med line that delivered meds very close to his heart that he has had since before his transplant in July was suspected to have a small infection in it. It was removed on Monday and they are planning on replacing that in the OR during this visit as well.

Since Monday, and the discovery of these tiny airways has again brought the discussion of stenting Oakes' airways to the surface. I know I have shared, but to remind you, traditional stents would not be good. They would likely give Oakes a few months of life and that would be it. Devastating. After these last 5 weeks of dreaminess, I can not even go there. Dr. Egtastady, however is talking about "new" biodegradable stents that could also last a few months, but they could be inserted over and over with the hope that they would, over time, allow Oakes' airway to grow and hopefully outgrowing this small airway issue. Dr. E had never placed these stents, but the guy that has done the most placements, with the best success rate is in London. Dr. E has been in touch with him and he has agreed to come here to St. Louis for our Oakes. Ok, so there is some amazing news! We are in the wait and see mode right now. But if that is a direction that we have to go in, as my Mom recently shared, "Bring on the Brit!" Of course, I will share all details as soon as we hear something.

It has been some time since I have asked for lots of prayers, but I'm asking again. It makes me sick that Oakesie has been doing so well, and we have now made a complete 180, we have takes an enormous step back, we are in a place that I thought we would never revisit. Please pray for Oakesie. For more restful healing, expanding airways and a beautiful and perfect little brain. Please pray for Greg and I, our sweet Isla and our families as we strap our seat belts back on. Please also pray for all of our CICU friends and families. We have become friends with some really sick but really special little ones here lately, and the need for those healing prayers never ceases on this floor.

Love to all of you, heart strings, hugs and kisses!

Becky

More (belated) AMAZING news!

Hello friends!

There is so very much to share with everyone. I have been busting at the seams because it is all such good news, such increadable news, news that I am so THANKFUL to share!

First, I have to tell you about our fund raising weekend that was already a week and a half ago! The Mighty Oakes Heart Foundation, Planting a Seed golf and dinner auction took place on Friday & Saturday night and the weekend was a HUGE success! Beyond raising more money than I could have imagined, Greg and I both were so amazed by the turn out. It was likely the best night of our lives. We had nearly 180 friends in attendance and it seemed as though everyone was moved and inspired and excited to support the foundation. Before hand I helped Ellen Moriarty, the weekends wiz organizer, and hardest working member of the board of directors for the foundation, with the seating chart and felt pretty comfortable going into the weekend. I knew just about everyone on the list, or I at least recognized names or felt comfortable seeing that some friends were bring their families or other freinds. I was completely at ease with the layout on paper, I didn't feel nervous going into the weekend, but both nights, especially Saturday night at the auction, I was a bit overwhelmed with the reality of everything. The ballroom where the auction took place was packed, and you could hear nothing but happy voices, laughter and lively music. Everyone was so dressed up, the room was beautifully decorated with little acorns everywhere, there were literally auction items from wall to wall to wall, and two huge projection screens showing images of the live auction items as well as a slide show of 300+ pictures of our Oakes since birth. That is a quick visual. But I have to try to describe the energy in the room. Everyone was happy to be there, excited to spend some money, and ready to get involved. I didn't see Greg all night. We were both walking around confessing our love for our guests and hugging everyone that we could. We were consumed thanking everyone for coming, thanking them for their donations and contributions. There were lots of faces that we hadn't seen in some time, lots of familiar faces as well as new faces, and friends and family that traveled from both ends of this country to be with us. Overall we were just so touched and humbled. We have been feeling loved ever since Oakes was born, and we decided to share his and our story, but we felt SO very loved on Saturday night. And, we have been walking on clouds ever since.

To everyone that attended, volentreerd, organized, donated, participated from afar by sending contributions, supportive email, prayers and well wishes...THANK YOU!! We have learned so much since Oakes was born, and one thing that is crystal clear is that we are loved. We have amazing family and friends and we are beyond blessed!

So, let me tell you about Oakes (prepare to be thrilled, and to be fair you may need tissue for happy tears!) Oakes is doing AMAZINGLY WELL!! On November 16th Oakes was transitioned to a HOME VENT!! I got to his room in the morning and he was comfortably sleeping in his swing, connected to a tiny little vent. This is a HUGE milesone for Oakes! In addition to the fancy new vent we have been piling on the normal baby stuff like you wouldn't believe. For starters last week Oakes had all of his two month immunizations. He was way behind on his immunizations, then after his transplant we wiped out his immune system so we are kind of starting from scratch. Last week, Oakes got rid of his NIRS stickers. Since transplant he has had that big sticker on his foreheard, that I have used as a billboard. He had another identical sticker on his lower back and both were there to read his Oxygen levels in his brain and kidneys, to make sure that he was moving blood evenly. And no stickers mean that no one is concerend about him moving blood! I kinda miss my billboard, but I love that clean shiny and BIG forehead even more! Not to mention, I LOVE that his heart is working well enough to move blood where is is supposed to. Talk about normal baby stuff...hallelujah, no more NIRS!! Do you remember the lines that were placed right next to Oakes kidneys, the ones that were going to be used to give him dialysis? So they never started dialysis, they were there just in case, but when Oakes was retaining fluids and his belly was becoming distended, they would use these lines to drain the belly. So that line has been clamped! It sorta dried up! Ba-bye stinky belly fluid! Remember we were praying that his heart would improve and everything would be effected by better blood flow - his lungs, his kidneys, his thyroid, well that best case scenario is happening and all of these little issues that Oakes has had are clearing up!! More normal stuff: Oakes now has 8 teeth. Four on top, and four on bottom. His feeds have been increased again, and so has his calorie intake. He is plumping up, and he is looking really long to me. The nurses have shuffeled everything around in his schedule so that Oakes can be on more of a day and night schedule. Lights are on during the day, all of his therapy happens during the day, then at night he is only disturbed for minor issues in an attempt to get him on OUR HOME schedule! Oakes has a new daily routine with his Physical therapist. She is sitting him up, she has been putting him on his tummy, and in his swing. She is doing lots of "normal" baby things, to help him gain strenght and well, just be a normal baby. There is a big sign by the nurses station saying "Since I am a big boy now I like to do lots of big boy things. Please help me include these in my day: swing, bouncy seat, boppy, bumbo chair, activity mat, music, movies, reading books, and my favorite: Being help by Mom!" I remember months ago walking into Oakes' room and feeling so excited to see that one of the nurses put Oakes in a little onsie, but to come in and see him sitting up or hanging out in his swing is just....beyond words amazing. This will probably sound very foreign to most of you, and for good reason, but throughout these last 8 months or so Greg and I have had to adjust our dreams for Oakes. We have always hung onto every hope possible, but while trying to balance hope and reality we naturally rearranged our dreams for our son. To be completely honest I never even imagined that we would have him in a swing one day. I have been imagining things like healing lungs, breathing lungs, test results and numbers, Oxygen saturation levels, and Compliment #5 going away. My long term dreams that I have had for Oakes was simply that he would live. One step beyond that was to just get him home, and have him play with Isla like normal & healthy siblings would. But these little, normal baby things that have been happening on a daily basis have completely thrown me. In the last couple of weeks I have been brought to tears more than once, just realizing that I need to dream bigger for Oakes now. I need to dream off the charts, unbelievable dreams for this kid, cause we all know he has something special in him, and he already doing off the charts, unbelievable stuff! I told you....AMAZING news, right?!

So, we are still getting smiling visitors at our door day after day. Just today a 7West nurse came to peek in Oakes' room and was saying that they are so excited that Oakes will be making his way down there soon. Last week, Dr. Michelson stopped by to say Hi. Do you remember me sharing about Oakes DSA tests weeks and weeks ago? This was looking at his Donor Specific Antibodies. It had to do with rejection. We used to nervously wait for them week after week. And for the longest time they went up then the next week they were down a little. Eventually the results were consistently trending down. Now, they are gone. Oakes has zero antibodies. Completely abnormal for most of us, but for his new lungs this is ideal. Zero antibodies is like the biggest welcoming party that those gorgeous lungs of Oakes could possibly have! I hadn't seen Dr. M in weeks and weeks and after sharing the news about no antibodies Dr. M told me that he will be coming on service in two week, and he will be on service for a span of two weeks and he is hoping that he will be able to escort us down to 7West while he is on! AMEN, DR. M!!! We are maybe 100 feet from the doors of 7West, but boy, will that be an amazing walk. In fact, we may have to parade down there!!

In order to get to 7West, we need to be on the home vent, and off of sedation meds and on lower doses of his other medications. So last week we hit a small road bump. Oakes sedation medication was slowly being weaned and over the weekend he started showing pretty classic signs of withdrawl. He was clearly miserable, which was aweful to whitness. Babies are not supposed to go through withdrawl, Uuuug! Oakes was so mad and miserable that he was bearing down and holding his breath, which was not good at all. We only want Oakes to be a heathly shade of pink, and he wasn't. He was taken off of his home vent, and put back on the big vent. His meds were turned back up and at one point when he was holding his breath he was given paralytic, to chill the heck out. So, kind of a step backwards, but once he was given the drugs that he liked and was missing he calmed down and his numbers have been looking beautiful, which means he is fine, and this truly was just a wean issue. So tomorrow we start the wean again, but this time the wean will happen much slower. There is still a chance Oakes could be home for Christmas, but that would be aggressive. Maybe he wants to start the new year with a bang and come home in early 2012, which is fine by us!

LOVE, love, love to all of our friends.

Thank you for everything that you do for us!

We have SO MUCH to be THANKFUL for this year.

XOXO, Becky

Call for entires!!

Another slide show fundraising reminder.

We are looking for photos from as many friends as we can get. We are putting together a inspiring promotional slideshow promoting Congenital Heart Defect Awareness, the Might Oakes Heart Foundation as well as Oakes' story and we need some help from our friends.

Here is what we need you to do:

1. Take a photo of yourself, your kiddos, you pet, you and your friends or co-workers and include a message for Oakes, our family, a message about CHD or to other families that are caring for children with a CDH. Be Creative!

2. Go to our website, and click on "how you can help", then select, "online donations", then on the far right column click on "proceed" under "slideshow donations". This page will take you to paypal. We are asking for a $25 donation. Once you donate, you will have the option to return to the foundation website, choose to return and when you do you will be given a specific email address to send your photo to.'

3. Finally, email us your image and we will include your image in our slide show. The slideshow is being assembled now, so don't wait too long!

Here are a few of the images that we have been give as well as an image we took with Isla:

ONLINE AUCTION.

The bidding has begun!

To view and bid on auction items, go to our auction website: 32 auctions.com

First, create an account, it takes a minute, just enter your email, no payment info required.

Then click on "view and auction", and when prompted the auction ID and password are the following: auction ID: Mighty, auction password: Oakes

Just a peek of what we have on the auction site right now.

This beautifully beaded Madonna was hand-beaded by Michelle Milligan of Edmond Oklahoma. She is a friend of Connie Fox, Oakes' grandma. She has been beading images of the Madonna for 7 years, and only beads clothes and the background, never her face or hands. This image has been professionally framed. The following is a quote from the artist:
"7 years ago, Mary spoke to me and told me that if I started to adorn her with beads and prayer, my life would get better. Thus began my journey of prayer and meditation through art.
"Each piece takes from 6 months to a year to complete, depending on the size. The beads are applied one by one, in tiny patches, as the glue dries quickly. With each bead placed, I pray for peace, understanding, and healing of our world. I feel that each piece is infused with a special power that can only come with prayer. Mary does not disappoint. My life has healed in miraculous ways. The new caretakers of my work also report great peace.
"I chose this particular piece for our Mighty Oakes and for all the special tiny ones, as they do their healing work lying down. I visualize Mary holding a sacred blanket of healing above them, constantly comforting them and blessing them."

This tote is a STEAL! Enjoy this very gently-used Coach Signature Multicolor Stripe Tote Bag. Originally $268, this bag could be yours for pennies on the dollar! Perfect as an every-day purse or save it for special occassions when you need to add a splash of color! Or, surprise someone you love with a "Just Because" gift! She'll love you for it!

Saint Louis University is very special place in Oakes' life! His momma, Becky, and poppa, Greg, met while attending Saint Louis University and that is where their love story began! While a student at SLU, Greg was a member of the baseball team. Donated by a fellow team member, Jeff Ray and his wife, Cindy, this professionally-framed jersey brings back memories of the fun and crazy roadtrips the Billikens embarked upon during their years at SLU!

This beautiful quilt, handcrafted with love, was made by a cousin of Jane Ortyl, Oakes' grandma. Shirley "Cookie" Crosby was a quilter her whole life. She suffered from ALS for nearly 7 years and sadly, she passed away just 2 weeks ago. But before she passed, Cookie gave Jane this quilt and asked that it be auctioned to benefit the Mighty Oakes Heart Foundation.

Online Auction.

In addition to the fundraiser that we are having here in St.Louis, we have also put a few amazing items online for bidding for our out of town family and friends. Please visit our online auction at www.32auctions.com. After you sign in, you can view the items by entering, Auction ID: Mighty, and Auction Password: Oakes

Bidding ends November 19th. We will be adding a few more items, so please check back in every now and then!

Weekend update on Oakes: He is still doing great! Oakes' peep vent setting is down to 8, he's tolerating the change just fine, his number still look great. They started weaning his Heliox overnight, so by the end of the day that should be off. They have also increased Oakes' feeds and he is tolerating that just fine. All good from St. Louis Children's Hospital. XOXO

Nothing but good news!

I know that there are times when our updates pop into everyones email accounts, and as they are being opened our friends and family reach for a tissue and unconsciously hold their breath and brace themselves as they begin to read. If that is you, put down the tissue and exhale, I have nothing but good news. In fact I have such hopeful news, great news AMAZING news, news that we have all been praying for!

So in Greg's last update he shared the issue that Oakes may be in heart failure. I know that I shared this several weeks ago, it has been on our radar for some time. We have been hoping and praying that this would not really be an issue that we would come face to face with. And personally, I have just not really allowed myself to think about this too much. I have learned to not fully process information like this until it is staring us in the face. I just don't have the energy or emotion for false alarms. It is still to early to say that this was a false alarm, BUT…Oakes has made some significant headway this week and the preliminary belief is that his heart is not in as much distress as we thought it might be.

Over the weekend, our friend Dr. Doctor started to wean Oakes vent. Dr. Doctor like to be aggressive, and we all know that Oakes is slow and steady so I was nervous, anticipating him to "crash", to see him go into distress, need to be paralyzed, etc. On Monday Dr. Doctor had a frank conversation with me about the heart issue. He went into all kinds of details that I won't share, but at the end of the conversation he concluded that we know that Oakes will need a valve replacement sooner than later. The donor valve that he was given in his last Open Heart is shot, but if this was true heart failure, if his ventricles were too stressed, to sick and beyond repair, we would be at the end of the road. The only fix would be a transplant and no one would agree to give Oakes one, because of how severely he rejected his lungs. The assumption would be that he would reject a heart just as severely at that would surely be too much to put him through. So the plan for the week was wean the vent, hope that he could breath on his own, and watch the drain in his abdomen. If it dried up they would assume that his heart was working better, well enough to get more blood to the kidneys to improve their function and effectively remove the need to drain fluid from his abdomen.

I came home feeling sick after this conversation. How could this possibly be the end of the road? No way. Again, I couldn't even begin to process this and I am glad I didn't. This week has been so fantastic. Yesterday, Oakes' vent was weaned completely! There was no crashing, no distress, no alarms, no paralytic, no struggling for Oakes, no disappointment or deeps sighs from his team. Oakes is breathing on his own for the first time since transplant. 105 days if you are counting! Definitely not good news, great news. Amazing news, miraculous news. Please, help yourself, stand up and do the happy dance! The Oakes is breathing dance, grab the tissues after all, take a few deep breaths for yourself and keep reading.

I have to go on about this great news. Can I dwell for a minute? Last week I shared that pesky Compliment #5 was gone. I mentioned that that was AMAZING, and it is. We can add that to the list of miracles. Since transplant I have been asking for prayers, for deep breaths, for heart strings, for all of the loving and healing that I could find for my baby, and I believe that these prayers have been answered. Compliment #5 is gone, Oakes vent has been weaned, his drain is drying and Oakes is breathing! I honestly didn't really believe this day would come. I have hoped and prayed, like all of you, but day in and day out of going up to the hospital, I just didn't know how Oakes would pull though but it looks like he is.

So yesterday, Oakes vent was weaned and he is doing well. His numbers look great, when you listen to his airways with a stethoscope they sound great. He isn't retracting, and he isn't so tired and wiped out just from breathing. Yesterday he was awake for most of the day. He was kicking his legs and flailing his arms for much of the day. He was smiling. He continues to respond to voices and touch, he has started making this clicking noise with his lips, and I am convinced that he is blowing kisses. His eyes have even improved quite a bit, they are not completely back to where they were, but much improved. In the beginning of the week his Physical Therapist, Rebecca, delightfully said, "Ok, Becky, it is time that you bring in all of Oakes toys, we need to really start working with him!" She caught me a bit off guard and explained, "I think he might be a little bored" So the next day I hauled in an entire wagon of developmental toys for our guy. My guess is that at nearly 8 months old, Oakes is where a 3 months old would be, but I am over the moon to think that my current goal can shift from breathing, to rolling over. A huge, much awaited, and warmly welcomed shift. I love you, normal baby stuff!

Moving forward we do have a few hurdles to get over, and we know that nothing goes as planned in the ICU. Even thought Oakes is breathing on his own, he is still getting pressure support from the vent. So he is initiating his breaths, his lungs are doing the bulk of the work but the vent is adding pressure to his breaths to assist in keeping his airways open. This is called Peep. Currently he is on a peep of 10. We want to get him to a peep of 8. Two weeks ago he was on a peep of 15, and hopefully we can come down to 8 over the weekend. After that he will be switched from Heliox (a blend of Helium and Oxygen) to blended Oxygen and room air, then down to room air. He is currently finishing up his antibiotic treatment from last weeks fever. We are praying that once the antibiotics are gone, the fever stays away and that is the end of that. Currently the drain in Oakes abdomen is not draining much at all. Dr. Doctor and Oakes' team believe this is an indicator that his kidney function has improved because his heart function has improved. So, next week the drain will be removed and we anticipate that his abdomen does not expand.

Yesterday afternoon, Dr. Doctor came into Oakes' room with a strern face and said, "Well (big pause), Oakes has exceeded my expectations." His delivery was dry as it usually is, and at "Well", I had already begun to prepare for a crappy conversation. As you already know, it was far from a crappy conversation. He shared with me how well he thought Oakes was doing, and the above steps that we now need to take. Then followed that with, "If we can navigate these next steps, then we are looking at going home." It makes me teary now just thinking about it, I was definitely teary then. I had to take my mask off and repeat what he had said. Coming home!?!!? I thought breathing was amazing news! Dr. Doctor had a big smile on his face and he seems so hopeful and happy for us, for Oakes, for everyone involved. And he seemed proud to share the news with me. At rounds later, I heard all of this again. Dr. Sweet, a Pulminiologist and the head of the transplant team, was on rounds and agreed that that was definitely the direction that we were heading in. They were even discussing ordering a home vent for us to get the ball rolling. They were discussing how Oakes white blood cells were up, that the B cells that we eliminated during chemo were back and healthy and the fact that Oakes will need to be given some immunizations before we go, specifically an RSV treatment. All of this was new to me, but again a welcomed shift.

So Oakes is on the road to coming home. He will likely come home on a vent, and with his trach. That valve that is not working will definitely need to be replaced sooner than later. But if he remains stable and strong they will push that surgery off as far as they can. They want him to grow, to gain weight, and to thrive. Leaving the trachea will allow us to assist him in cleaning his airway and keeping him healthy through cold, flu and RSV season. Not to mention it will be very helpful in the upcoming surgery. The surgery will be another open heart, which will require going on bypass. He has done this before, as you know, but putting his fragile little lungs on bypass now would be awful scary, no one thinks that would be a good idea. So, Dr. Doctor thinks we can get Oakes home in about 6-8 weeks, just about time for Christmas, then we would likely return in the Spring for surgery.

On Thursdays there are little conferences that happen on the floor about all of the patients. All of the team members come together and weight in on what is happening that week. Yesterday, because of the good news, and the gathering happening on the floor we had lots of happy visitors. Lots of faces that we don't usually see came by to say hi, and take a peek at the smiling, happy, breathing Oakes. Oakes was happy to have visitors, he was full of smiles, little clicking blowing kisses sounds, and non-stop moving. In fact, when Dr. Doctor left the room, I turned to Oakes with tears in my eyes and that little toot had his hands in the air over his head, looking right at me, as if he were saying, "Yes!" Mostly when we have had bad times, when things have been hard, or when we have been faced with a decision about Oakes care, Greg and I have had conversations about "what Oakes is telling us". We have discussed this with his team, we all have talked about, "If we listen to Oakes, we think he is saying…" I don't know that I have thought to ask myself this when times have been kinda good, or even great, like they seem to be now. But I think Oakes is telling us that he knew he could do it. He is telling us that he is going to be just fine. He's telling us that he is not finished, that there is a lot more to come. And I think he is telling us he is happy, he can't wait to grow, and breath and thrive and be a baby at home with his family. And I really believe that he is thankful. Thankful for the love, the support, the encouragement, each and every breath and heart sting, and SO thankful for the chance to teach us all and be a part of his life.

I look forward to more updates with more good news.

We are anticipating a pretty boring and great weekend, and we hope that your is equally as great.

We love you all, and we are thankful for each and every one of Oakes friends.

PS: A special welcome to all of your Elleinadspir.com blog readers. We are grateful to have made the list, to have met you all, and as you have read, we have so very much to be thankful for.

Thumbs up from Oakes!