You know how sometimes you are talking to someone and they
share a big idea that they have had, and they are so proud and energized with
this new discovery and you are like, “Well, yeah….” And you are wondering what
took them so long to see what was so obvious? So I recently had what feels to
be a huge revelation, but I am thinking you might scratch your head at the end
of this and wonder why it took so long for me to get here.
Here is the thing. I have been struggling with this for
years. This has been my biggest dilemma with this blog. I have wanted to write and share
and reach out, but there have been a few big things holding me back.
One has been this story that I have told myself and I have
believed that no one really wants to hear what is happening in my life and in
my head. I have looked at my grief in an “Eww, yuck” sort of way, and have been
convinced that everyone else would too.
Another part has been this other story that has been
circulating through my head that if I blog or if I am writing I should have
some concrete message, I should have it all figured out, and I should be some sort of expert on whatever it is that I am talking about. And for sure, 100%,
without a doubt, I just feel like I have very little figured out for sure in my
life.
So the big revelation has been that maybe I can just write.
I can tell some stories. They don’t all have to be huge stories. They don’t all
have to be mind blowing, change-your-life sort of stories. Maybe I can just put
myself out there and share whatever it is that I want to share that day, and
maybe that is enough. I don’t have to have answers, or solutions or offer a
road map about getting to a better place in life. Maybe I can just tell my
story. And maybe someone will want to listen.
I recently shared this with a girlfriend of mine. I prompted
the conversation with the fact that I had this huge revelation but then after
sharing, she was just looking at me as if she were waiting for the big reveal.
She was sort of like, “What? That’s it? You have been worrying about this for
years?” And then she said something like, “Well, yeah…..and, please start
blogging again!”
So here, it is. I'm kicking off my no big deal sort of
blogging…
So happy to hear you feel this way!
ReplyDeleteFinally! Can't wait to hear all you have to share!
ReplyDeleteI would love to hear your stories! Your little tidbit or "no big deal" just might be a revelation to someone else <3 Even if it's not, small snip-its by meaningful people add up to lasting impressions. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI think you are fascinating so I'm excited for your stories!!
ReplyDeleteBut I also get the whole "...I should have a concrete message, I should have it all figured out..." because I wanna write a book about our journey, but feel like I need the 'message' figured out before I start writing. :-/ Love and hugs my friend,
Carrie Walls
I think you are fascinating so I'm excited for your stories!!
ReplyDeleteBut I also get the whole "...I should have a concrete message, I should have it all figured out..." because I wanna write a book about our journey, but feel like I need the 'message' figured out before I start writing. :-/ Love and hugs my friend,
Carrie Walls
I want to hear your stories! I love the tiny glimpses of your life; you exemplify love and family and goodness in all you do.
ReplyDeleteGo for it!
ReplyDeleteSome of us need your insight.
Lady,
ReplyDeleteYou are bona fide crazy just like the rest of us. I love this post but I will take issue with one thought. You are indeed, whether for better or worse, the expert. You are unfortunately or fortunately, however you feel today, an expert in grief. You are an expert in you. Your thoughts may not win a Nobel Prize (which I find complete bullshit) in the peace department, but you will in the REAL department. Your thoughts and efforts to keep the spirit of your sweet precious boy alive are valid every single time in every forum. We are so lucky you are willing to share. So pour some more vino, I am all ears, my friend. ��